Dr. Michio Kaku

Last week, I had the opportunity to go see Dr. Michio Kaku speak for Rollins Collge’s Winter Park Institute speaker series. I was extremely hyped up on going, though I’m no scientist or physicist and only slightly familiar with him and his work. The lecture was titled “The Next 20 Years: How Science will Revolutionize Society and Our Lives”, which sounded like it was going to include some secret sort of knowledge that isn’t publicly known.

It wasn’t. Though Dr. Kaku is an extremely dynamic speaker, the information he was giving us almost sounded more like the r/science sub-Reddit on any given day. There were things that were new to me to hear him expand on briefly, but even then it was information that is already publicly known. It was an extremely disappointing lecture just based off the information provided. As a speaker, Dr. Kaku was charismatic, but even he seemed bored by the information he was sharing.

Sure, the idea that in 7 years from now, X, Y, and Z technologies will have progressed to a certain point is an interesting thing to think about. Was it something really that note worthy during a lecture from one of the top physicists in the world? No. 

The key points that I found most interesting and that I really wish he had expanded on further involved how scientists are using microbes to eliminate cancer cells, the growth of human organs, and robotics. Rather than focusing his lecture on anything other than computer chips and how they’re built into everything nowadays, his lecture was almost like an overview of a book written about the near future. It started with a very brief history lesson, but was rushed and didn’t go in depth on any of the topics regarding the digitization of education and medicine. For christ’s sake, he was reading off a [very poorly put together] PowerPoint!! For someone who was discussing the future of technology, he sure was using an outdated method of presentation.

I would have enjoyed his lecture much more had he talked about something that isn’t so easily found on the internet, or if it wasn’t such a broad topic that gave little way to focus. Dr. Kaku must have had a very different public speaking teacher than I, because if my high school or college public speaking teachers reviewed his speech before he gave it, I’m 98% sure they would have told him it lacked focus, and that he was trying to cover too much in too little of time.

I’m not sure if Rollins gave him a topic to speak on or any sort of limitations, or if it is part of an ongoing tour he is doing, but regardless, the talk was underwhelming coming from someone with such prestige. The talk lacked opinion and focus. Dr. Michio Kaku’s charismatic reputation was the only hype he lived up to, and even that was a disappointment. Maybe next time, Doctor.  

Total word count: 493

Doctor Assisted Suicide

Sometime when I was in middle school (I think?), I read an article about doctor assisted suicide in regards to a patient who had ALS and another with a terminal form of cancer. It was so long ago, the details of the article, but I do remember that one patient was given some sort of drug that would induce a coma, and then they’d very soon there after die. The other patient wasn’t given the option, though as an outsider, it may appear that their condition is a bit more difficult to watch and accept. I don’t remember if those minor details are 100% correct, but we’re going to go with that being the case for the sake of my writing today.

Today, I was listening to the Diane Rehm show on NPR, and there was a discussion about death with dignity, assisted suicides and the law. I didn’t catch the full show, but what I caught was enough to put me in a funk temporarily while I was driving.

Several years ago, my Mom’s Mom (my Grandma M), was admitted to the hospital for various reasons, and except for a very VERY brief stint back at home, she never really went home until her final days. I was a teenager, and going through my own angsty life bullshit at the time, and had a really hard time with the whole situation. I don’t hold myself in some sort of mental hostage situation about how little time I made for her in her final days, but I do have some very prominent thoughts about how the whole thing was handled.

One day, I went to visit my Grandma with my Mom and my Grandpa. My Mom and Grandpa left me in the room with Grandma, who at the time was still within the first few months of being in the hospital. I think I was giving my Grandma some of the delicious avgolemono (Greek lemon chicken soup, essentially) from our favorite local Greek restaurant, when she told me that she wanted to go. Later, when I told this to my Mom (I mean, much much later. Quite possibly after my Grandma finally passed), she interpreted it as my Grandma wanting to go home. I interpreted it very differently: that she was ready to die. It seemed like it was something in her eyes and her tone of voice, almost pleading for the end.

Now, I know how morbid that sounds, but I’m a firm believer in the idea that there comes a point in life where you are just ready to bite the bullet and be done. I believe that at that point, my Grandma was saying that it was her time.

My Grandma suffered in and out of hospitals, assisted living centers and finally hospice for well over a year (possibly closer to two years), and I know how much she hated it.

In the state of Florida (and most of the US), doctor assisted death is not legal. This is a problem for me, and my future. Wasting away in a hospital bed, until there is no dignity left in my death just doesn’t seem like the way I want to go. I would rather have the option to die in peace, at my own time and my own hand.

Medical professionals, insurance, or whoever, seem to think that they have the right to say when someone is ready for death. What is this based on? What makes those people think that they have any right to say when someone goes? I understand that it is one thing for someone to request whatever coma/death inducing drugs if they don’t have some sort of terminal illness or aren’t just prolonging the inevitable by being hooked up to breathing machines or something. But what if someone does have a terminal illness? Or truly feels that they are at the end? Surely it costs less to give someone a lethal dose of morphine or barbiturates and just let them fall into a coma than it is to keep them in a hospital or hospice for weeks, months or even years?

The idea that when I’m ready to die of whatever illness I succumb to but can’t do it on MY terms isn’t one that sits well for me. I’d perhaps like to fall into a coma listening to my favorite album, surrounded by people I love, and in my own bed, instead of hooked up to breathing tubes, unable to care for myself in any way. After all, once I’m dead, how can I regret my own decision?

Total word count: 767 

Project Starter

Making life changes is not exactly the easiest thing to do. I tend to be someone who likes to start projects. I mean, I am really freaking great at starting projects (ahem, this blog challenge being one of them). My biggest challenges are having the energy, mindset and drive to finish projects. As a means of calling myself out on my own short comings, I’d like to make a list of projects that I have started recently that I have not finished or have given up on.

·      Going through belongings and getting rid of things that I no longer wear/use.

·      Walk 10k steps a day

·      Eat healthier

·      Write 500 words a day

·      Read at least 20 pages a day (literature, graphic novels, any thing that is not the internet)

These are all pretty simple changes to make. Sure, there is a period of adjustment and building a routine, but I have come up with a simple reason why I’m not doing any of these things: I am a lazy person.

I could easily blame my laziness on my busy life or my friends always wanting to do things, but the fact is that I have to take personal responsibility for my own shortcomings.

Every once in a while, there is some sort of change I want to see in myself that is much easier to accomplish.

A few years ago, back when I had my 06 Toyota Corolla, I went to beach in the middle of the night with a few friends. On the way there, I was pumping my clutch along with the music. Eventually, after the previous wear and tear on the clutch and my own added wear and tear, my clutch no longer worked…So we were stranded at a gas station in the middle of the night. I had never been told not to pump the clutch. Somehow, that lesson was not a part of my learning period while driving. I changed my habit immediately though. Once I got the car back, I was suddenly very aware of my left foot on the clutch, and I went to great lengths to not engage the clutch except when needed.

What’s the difference between that and adding any of those things on my list to a daily routine? I’d like to be a healthier individual. I’d like to be a well-read individual. I’d like to improve my writing.

At first, I couldn’t think of what was stopping me. Really, I couldn’t. It took a while of thinking and really pushing myself out of my own comfort level to realize that I’m just 1-lazy and, 2-trying to take on too many things at once.

I’m really great at dishing out advice, but when it comes to taking my own advice, I’m awful. I don’t know how many times in the past year alone I’ve told people to slow down and get through one project at a time, or form one habit at a time. And what am I doing? I’m trying to conquer this whole “self improvement” thing all at once. There has been no two-week buffer to get started before starting the next stage; instead I’m just doing all of it, all at once. This is not a healthy way of forming good habits.

Naturally, my new goal is to do all of these things in stages. Without giving up or quitting.

Total word count: 568 

Mono vs. Poly

Monogamy is in the news a bit this week, after a study was done on why animals are monogamous or not. I don’t particularly want to summarize the study for you, or even summarize the articles around the study, so instead here’s a link for you to read on your own: http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/30/health/why-monogamy-evolution-studies/index.html?hpt=hp_bn13 

That does make me want to discuss my own ideas of monogamy vs. polyamory life, particularly mine (hey, this is my 500 word challenge, I can write what I want!). For me, monogamy just doesn’t feel right.

I’ll state this right away: I have almost never been able to remain monogamous. It just hasn’t been something that worked out for me, whether in a committed relationship or just dating. I have almost always turned to open relationships or ended up cheating in the final days of a monogamous relationship. Despite the fact that I’ve cheated, I don’t really like that act at all.

Although throughout my twenties, I’ve had friends who identified as “poly”, it wasn’t until a year or so ago that I really put any thought into the term. Since my last monogamous relationship ended fourish years ago, I’ve been casually dating the entire city (or, so it seems sometimes). The problem was that I had a very hard time dating one person at a time, and keeping that fact to myself. It made me feel sleazy to date multiple people but not be open about it.

So, about a year ago, I started dating someone who at the time was married and had three (four?) girlfriends. At first, I was a bit insecure about it: 1, at the time men were unappetizing to me, and here was this uber male in my life suddenly. 2, how does anyone have that kind of time and emotional capability?? Thankfully, he was extremely patient with me (as you really have to be when it comes to my emotional turtle-dom), and very willing to address my concerns and questions. He said one thing that has stuck with me: “I have a whole lot of love to give.”

I’m not sure why that particular statement was the one that really flipped a switch on in my mind, but that was the one that really put me in the mindset that my love isn’t necessarily going to be towards just one person. I grew up with a mindset that I would marry the person I loved, and live happily ever after. Maybe it was my Catholic upbringing, or my parents remaining married to this day, or maybe it was the Disney Princess culture. Whatever it was, all of the things that I thought I knew as a child and growing up were suddenly a very grey area.

Because of that, I’ve relearned what my ideas of love and relationships are. I tell my now boyfriend that I love him, because I no longer fear the idea of the word and because I do actually love him. I’m now one of his four (or five?) girlfriends, and he is one of my numberless partners.

A friend once told me that she had the impression that polyamory was an orientation, and that it wasn’t something you could really choose to be or not. When I sit down and really put thought into it, that theory seems pretty accurate to me. Science can do all the studies it wants on why animals (and people) are monogamous, but I think that like homosexuality or pansexuality, it just is how someone is (or isn’t). I made a decision to identify as poly, but my relationship past taught me that monogamy isn’t something I could identify with since it wasn’t a natural feeling for me.

Total word count: 618 

motivation?

Racking up days worth of words. Too tired to write. No bursts of creativity, even after reading prompt after prompt after prompt. Nothing is speaking to me.

I started writing on two different prompts, got to about 300 words and have no idea how to take it further. Prompts are fueling me, but only so far. What happens next? Who does this person become?

I just don't know. 

Goals

Although I didn’t start this challenge out as a means for me to blog about my personal life, I’m sure it will come up from time to time. It isn’t that I don’t want people having some sort of idea about the details of my life, it is that I would prefer that I tell them, rather than them reading it off of my writing challenge blog. That being said, I’m sure that at some point through out the course of my 500-word a day challenge, there will be some sort of blog style post.

Have no fear, for today is not that day.

In my excitement to start a challenge to myself, I failed to make my very first entry here have anything to do with my goals. I feel that it is important to not only me, but anyone who happens to read this, to have a clear and concise idea of what my goals are. They may change over time, or they may not. It doesn’t really matter that much though.

Anyway, here is a list of what I hope to accomplish with my 500-word a day blog/challenge:

1.     Stop writing everything in lists. I get the irony of the fact that I’m currently making a list, but ideally, I’m going to not do this much. I’ll save my lists for grocery shopping, ideas to write about, and reminders to myself.

2.     Write. Write everyday, about anything. It doesn’t matter what, as long as I’m spending some sort of time writing. I love writing, and since leaving college, I’ve severely neglected doing so. That bums me out.

3.     Improve my writing. I’d like to see a progression of improvement over time. Whether a month or three months, I should have managed to improve my writing in one-way or another. Maybe I’ll form more powerful sentences, or my character development will get more in depth, or my word vocabulary will grow. Whatever the improvement is, I just want to get there.

4.     Further develop my writing style. I write the way I think, and sometimes I write the way I speak, but neither are always very concise nor stick to one single point. I need a clear writing voice or style.

5.     For every day that I miss writing, I have to add that day’s word count to my next entry, or do multiple entries in a day to cover that 500-word minimum. If, one day I go well over the 500-word minimum, it does not count towards the following days’ goal.

6.     Don’t turn this into a diary or journal. It is one thing to write about struggles, thoughts on a subject, or personal goals. It is a completely different thing to write about how happy a lover makes me, or how angry I am at a coworker. If I absolutely must write something that is journal style, it had better be for a damn good reason, and be very well written.

If anyone is reading this, I do welcome suggestions for writing prompts or topics, criticism, and encouragement.

With all that being said, to whoever is reading this, I appreciate it. I hope you’ll stick around for a while. Or, maybe we’re friends and you’ll say to me one day while we’re out getting froyo or seeing a movie, “gee, it sure would be neat if you wrote about ____________ in your blog.”

Total word count: 567 

Anticipation

From Creative Writing Prompts: "Start your story with this line: Her laugh broke the silence."

Her laugh broke the silence in a small, darkened room. There were murmurs and stares as she continued to laugh in a flirtatious manner to a blushing female sitting next to her. The two women were the only ones in the restaurant that late in the night, drinking wine as red as the crimson lipstick on the bartender’s lips.

Her dyed red hair had natural waves that fell down her open back dress, revealing a small birthmark on her right shoulder. Lucy. Lucy with a flirtatious laugh that could confuse even the most confident of men. That laugh did wonders on her female counterpart, whose pale cheeks blushed and the laughing response.

“It was just a question!” she cried out in attempt to cover for her growing embarrassment. She hadn’t meant to make Lucy laugh, or perhaps she had feared that she wouldn’t make Lucy laugh. Her embarrassed grin made Lucy’s laughter louder, while her hand reached out to ever so slightly touch her arm.

“I haven’t been asked that question in a long time,” Lucy replied, with giggles spilling out of her mouth between words.

Lucy had just met her, really. It wasn’t a bar that either women frequented, or one where either expected to meet other females. Andrea wasn’t exactly feminine looking when she initially approached Lucy and offered to buy her a drink, which had turned into several drinks and the slow progression of others leaving the bar as the night got later. Andrea had a feminine body, hidden beneath slacks and a tailored shirt, buttoned up to the neck. Her hair was dark and cut short, but there was no mistaking her face for anything but that of a woman.

The clock on the wall showed that it was just a few minutes before two am, and the bar had long been quiet with only the whispers between Andrea and Lucy. The bartender had taken up washing glasses, wiping down empty tables, and cleaning up for the night. The women barely noticed, too caught up in their own conversation to care about their surroundings.

It wasn’t until the bartender purposefully cleared his throat that the women realized the time, and Andrea made the bold decision to ask Lucy to go home with her. It was a decision fueled by the wine that had surely made its way to her head, and at the time it had felt right. The laughter is what worried Andrea.

It was the gentle touch of Lucy’s hand against Andrea’s arm that knew she shouldn’t be embarrassed, but there was always a fear when speaking to women that perhaps she’s not into women. 

Andrea let out a barely audible giggle as she paid the bartender, and stood up next to Lucy. Lucy was fiddling with a compact and a tube of lipstick, as if she had a need to suddenly reapply the long since worn off lipstick. Andrea’s giggle turned into a laugh, as Lucy quickly and not so discreetly ran fingers through her own hair as if to straighten it out.

The two walked slowly into the cool air outside the bar, Andrea’s hand placed gently on the small of Lucy’s back, their destination in mind, and their minds racing in anticipation.  

Total word count: 541

I haven't done any creative writing based off a prompt in a while. It was interesting to feel the story just flow out of my mind and onto my keyboard. I'm looking forward to doing more!